Saturday, September 27, 2008

It's wierd . . .

how life and its daily crap junk mundane hellish chores motherly duties stuff just sort of propells me through, from one week to the next.

I truly am praying my little prayers, my little hopes throughout the day. Once I wake up. When I'm contemplating getting up though and wondering how I'm going to get it all done, I probably say the worthless prayers like wishing for the lottery, a nanny, or a limo service. But, then, I get up and somehow it all comes together.

And, in the midst of it all, I continue to stretch myself thin. Class mom. WTF?!?! Dance on Saturday's 9:45am. WTF?!?!?! Part-time job/Second job. WTF are you thinking?!?!?!?

I wonder if there is this another dimension of me that watches it all to make sure I am keeping track of the good things. The blessings. The making of new friends. I see my cell phone list of people growing. The invites to parties growing. So, of course, I try to enjoy reaching out to those around me. Wondering where I can help, be a blessing. Make sure that the kids are getting some good experiences.

Then, there is this selfish part of me that just wants off this ride. Just wants quiet. In fact, I just yelled to the kids "BE QUIET!!"

So, that is probably my big reason for not being here much.

No time.

I actually like it here. This is where I can be friends in a quiet way.

Well, thanks for letting me get this out. Appreciate it.

Next up, gotta get Faith ready for a birthday party that is a dress-up birthday party?!?! I got real pissy when I saw the invite, basically, asking me to think about Halloween costumes in September. You gots to be kidding me?!?!? That's what it said--"Please wear your Halloween costumes to the party."

Bright side--but not really. I have one feverish kid so I am able to send Faith with the sitters to the party down the street. The sitters are dressing up--suckers!! hahaha I'm just kidding. Really. I'm just kidding. But, I'm thrilled to hold off going until Daddy gets home to stay with Elijah. I'm terrible--I realize it. And, sometimes, take pride in it! heehee

Have a great day. Enjoy it.

I have alot to say about the election and the bailout but I don't have the eloquence or energy to go into it.

I do hope to go apple picking tomorrow. I'm trying to get a caravan of people going. I don't know--it's all about getting the kids doing something really memorable together. I'm such a sap these days.

Talk to you later.

3 comments:

Vani said...

I think all of us moms tend to stretch ourselves thin, so thin that at times there seems to be nothing left or we get a feeling that some parts of us are broken! Some days are better than others, on the bad ones I keep telling myself that its gonna get better or it could be worse, lol. But I think you're doing great, hang in there. Keep giving yourself the litte breaks you deserve, its not being selfish, its just being human.

The Mad Hoosier said...

I have every amount of confidence that you are FAR less selfish than many other parents out there...so you're entitled to a little selfishness sometimes.

I caught myself thinking about how much I've matured since becoming a parent, and yet how far I have to go to barely touch the saintlihood that was my mother.

I found myself, as I was making me and my middle child lunch the other day, saying, "eh...she can have the front piece of bread for her sandwich."

Not the heel, but the front piece of bread...the piece that's harder than the rest.

Who does that? Gives their kid the front piece of bread so they can have the softer piece of bread for their sandwich?? Not my Mom, that's for sure.

I've got sooooo long to go before I reach her status of selflessness.

Did that example of selfishness help? I'm sure you've never done that...so now you shouldn't feel so bad. :)

Shannon said...

Laughing about the dress-up party, lol. I actually get my kids costumes in September, because I grew tired of trying to do it the week before the big day. I know what you mean about hanging on by a thread for the ride wondering of we are over doing everything, and then second guessing when we are doing nothing. Hang in there, and try to fit a nap into this great Sunday afternoon, although, apple picking sounds like allot of fun!