Monday, July 30, 2007

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I feel like I am bursting . . . so much so that I have had to retype these few words like six times. I can't get the words out!

I left my retail job on June 14th.

I started my mortgage position on June 18th.

A few days in, I made a friend. Right out of college and pregnant, she gets this mortgage job. She is super sweet. When I met her, she was bowled over in pain. It turns out because she has to take public trans from the Bronx that she has not been able to get maternity clothes. The clothes that she has are now too tight for her.

I say, "We are going to Macy's tomorrow on break."

Friends made in this odd meeting.

Well, we are venting buddies. We get to vent about the job. How we are doing in it. We made about fifteen trips to McDonalds in two weeks time. [wink!]

The whole time . . . I know that this job is not for me.

I believe at one point when I asked the Lord out loud . . . "I'm not supposed to be here, am I?" The "No" that I heard was so distinct that I just knew that I had to go.

A part of me wishes that I could have hacked it . . .

But, the real truth . . . the bottomline . . . is if I was that person . . . I would not have been the person to make that quick friendship with the super sweet girl.

I would have not cared. I would not have reached out so quickly, without thought.

So, Wednesday night, I see online that there is an opening at my old mortgage bank job. Before retail. I send off my resume that night.

On Thursday, I quit the one job.

Tomorrow, I have an interview at the other old job. This job is so much more up my alley. I am so happy!!!

On so many levels, this is an excellent week to have off. Before the new old job starts. :)

I just want to say that I want to continue to Surround Myself With People That Understand Me And My Dreams. I could talk more on this point . . . it is meaningful to me in so many ways.

As far as jobs are concerned, yes, we should be able to work someplace and transcend the shit.

But, isn't it true . . . that if we are working near mud, are we not bound to get a little muddy? A little dirty?

For that reason, I had to walk away. And, it felt good. But, very emotional.

I hate that I invest so quickly and feel that I am leaving something or someone in a bad way.

But, I still had to go.

Just think really good thoughts my way as I move on to this other place, if you would.

Thank you.

[Edited to not speak too ill of the old job. So, if it seems unfinished, I had to edit it a bit.]

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I have a feeling that I was at that job for such a short time, if not just to be the friend to the girl who could have used some help.

1 comment:

Vani said...

that's so cool Marel! i'm totally with you and understand completely..good luck with the interview..i'm sure you're in! as for me, still searchin. had 3 stikes but still not out, lol.